I don't cry for myself anymore

I moan, I sleep, I drink with friends

I try to forget the imperfections of my being

I watch the battles of men, I cry

I watch the suffering of the innocent, I cry

I see humanity living lives of sin, I cry

I cry for joy, I cry for peace, I cry for the love of friends , I cry

Why can't I cry for me?

Is that a good thing?

 I don't feel above it.....

I am left only to silently lament the numbness of my hopes deferred